Diary of a CL Sorority Girl- The Big & Little Relationship

A sister is a forever friend.  This statement is definitely true for the bond between a “Big” and “Little.” A Big is a sister assigned to a new member within the first few weeks of their pledge period.  That new member then becomes that sister’s Little.

The Big-Little relationship creates a family lineage.  So the Big of the Big of the new member becomes the new member’s Grand-Big.  A Big can also take on two Littles, in which the Littles become each other’s twins.  Family trees can expand and continue for many generations.

The purpose of the Big during the new member period is to act as a mentor for their Little.  It is their duty to introduce their Littles to the sorority and help them adjust to Greek life. Bigs answer any questions their Littles might have regarding the chapter, the sorority, college or with life in general.

A Big is often the one who gives her Little her first set of letters along with many gifts and words of encouragement throughout the new member period.  A Little often gives her Big a decorated paddle at the end of the semester.  Although the Big may want to spoil her Little throughout the new member period, the role of the Big is not as a gift giver, but as someone to lean on.

A great way to get closer to your Big or Little is through family meals.  Get together with your Little, Big, Grand Big, etc. and get to know more about each other.  Discuss your ambitions within the sorority, college and after graduation.  Seek advice from your family if you plan on running for a position.  Your sorority family wants to help in any way they can and watch you succeed.

The bond between a Big and her Little is unique. The Big often becomes the Little’s first friend in the sorority, and her closest.  There is a large amount of mutual trust and respect in the relationship.  They rely on each other for advice and support.  As a Big, one tries to be a classy role model to her Little, in and out of the sorority.  The Little will turn to the Big for advice and encouragement.  Although the sorority as a whole works as a support system, it is your Big and Little who shine through the most.  The relationship consists of guidance, advice, laughter and support.

For me, and for many others, my Big is my closest friend in my sorority.  She has given me endless amount of support and has consistently been someone I can rely on.  I never knew what it meant to have a sister until I met her.  She will reach out to me when she knows that I am stressed or something is wrong, and I try to do the same.  My Big has helped smooth out my transition into Greek Life in a fun and meaningful way.  She is one person that I know that I can always count on and that I can trust.  I am proud to be her Little and I hope eventually my Little will feel the same way about me.

What does your Big/Little relationship mean to you?

What some other sorority ladies have to say about their Bigs and Littles:

“Big/lil is really being there for someone – on both ends – a big needs the encouragement for a job interview and a lil needs encouragement with the first big paper of her college career!” Shelly Marie Redmond, Alpha Sigma Tau, CL Editor & Chief & CEO

“I think the big/little relationship is the most important relationship a sister can have in a sorority. A big sister will always be there for you in good times and in bad. She is a shoulder to cry on or a person to laugh with. She is someone who you can always count on to be there throughout your life. Being a big sister is one of the best feelings about being in a sorority. I loved guiding my littles through the new member conference and spoiling them. When they became active members I loved seeing them succeed in the chapter. They are my closest friends in my sorority along with my big and the ones who I hope to keep as friends for the rest of my life,” Courtney Finnegan, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Zeta Chi Chapter, Marist College.

“My big was the reason I fell in love with Alpha Chi. She showed me what it meant to truly care about another person, to truly become invested in someone’s life and to look out for friends like family. She was a never-ending source of support, love and encouragement and was always there when I needed someone to talk to. She convinced me that being in a sorority was all about finding out more about yourself- not about trying to fit in.” Meaghan O’Connor, Alpha Chi Omega, University of Michigan.

“Being big & little means, to me, having someone I can look up to and aspire to be like. My big is a person I can vent to when something is bothering me – especially a problem involving my closest friends or a relationship. She can vent to me all she wants to, as well. It is a lifelong relationship and always wonderful to have one-on-one big/little time together. Even when your big has graduated, she is only a phone call or text away and will always be there to encourage and support.” Lauren Townsend, Phi Mu, Beta Nu Chapter, Bethany College.

“Big/little to me means making a friendship that, if properly cared for, can last a lifetime. I am obsessed with my little and love getting to know her. I feel like she looks to me as a mentor, and I love when she comes to me for advice. But having a big/little relationship also means having fun getting to know each other and someone that always has your back.” Megan Stein, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Gamma Theta Chapter, Drake University

“I feel like when you’re a big you’re supposed to pay attention, care for, and give respect to your little. It really shouldn’t matter what you get her or how much money you spent on her, but what kind of relationship you have.” Alex Kundrat, Pi Phi Ny Eta NYU.

“My Big relationship is the big sister I never had.  Whether I’m freaking out over a test and need to be calmed down, upset over something and need to vent to someone, need to borrow clothes, or just want a friend to go to lunch with- my big is there.” Kelly Wall, Kappa Kappa Gamma, Zeta Chi Chapter, Marist College.

Nicole is a CL intern who goes to Marist College.  She is a Communications major with a concentration in Journalism and PR.  Nicole is a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma, Marist Ambassadors, and Communication Arts Society.  She enjoys running and hanging out with her sorority sisters and friends.

Squash those Sorority Stereotypes!

Ask not what your sorority can do for you, but ask what you can do for your sorority.  An adapted version of John F. Kennedy’s famous saying.  Your sorority is a united group of women with a common mission and similar values in life.  They are strong, independent individuals that work together towards a shared goal.

People who are not members of Greek system tend to not see the beauty of sorority life.  To the non- Greek public, sorority girls are considered cruel and vindictive, while the fraternity men are dumb and incompetent.  But we sorority ladies know the truth, and we try to convey our classiness through philanthropy and kindness.  We expect this stigma from the public, and we hope to squash it.  Yet what happens when inside the system, we have our own stereotypes?

The blonde sorority, the partying sorority, the geeky sorority, the snobby sorority and the socially awkward ones.  Many of us have heard these labels, among many others, discussed throughout campus.  Each label has a negative connotation to it; it becomes something the girls are not proud of.  So you ask, what can I do for my sorority to rid us of these negative ideas?

Allow diversity into your chapter.  During recruitment, keep in mind ladies with original ideas and unique qualities.  Accept a co-ed based on her personality and interests, not just her looks. Your events and meetings become more fun when you allow room for creative ideas and different traits!

Be the change. Change can be good within a sorority.  Hold onto your goals and values, but also make adjustments to be the best you can be.  When a girl enters college, she hopes to develop and grow as an intellectual and a human being.  Allow your sorority to do the same.  Perhaps recruit in different ways, or allow more opportunities for discussion within your chapter.  A good, informal, way to discuss change is through sisterhood events.

Stop the stereotypes from within.  Sometimes, we subconsciously thrive off the stereotypes.  We take it as a way that we are supposed to act; the way the public expects us to act.  Remember that no matter where you are and what you are doing; you are always wearing your letters.  People recognize you outside the sorority.  Act in a way that makes your sisters proud.  In my sorority, we tell people to keep it “Kappa Klassy.”

Make it a positive twist.  Hear someone saying that you and your sisters are the geeky sorority?  Stand up to them and put a positive connotation to it.  Say, “Yes, we like to study and do well in school, but we do many things outside of the classroom.  And I don’t see anything bad about being intelligent.”  Are you the partying sorority?  Try, “My sisters and I like to have fun, but we like to keep it classy.  We also boast a high cumulative GPA as an organization.”

Show the community what you are all about.  Be more active on campus to show students and faculty what your values really are and what your organization wishes to accomplish.  Do events and philanthropies that interest your chapter as a whole.  Encourage your peers to look past the label and see the sophisticated, fabulous, well-rounded group of women that you are.

Don’t listen to the labels the sororities on your campus have.  Know what values you and your sorority represent and do your best as a whole to represent them.  Be proud and confident of who you and your sorority are and show off your uniqueness in a savvy and genuine manner.  Encourage development within your sorority and be passionate about your mission and values.  What are some amazing things you have done for your sorority?

Nicole is a CL intern who goes to Marist College.  She is a Communications major with a concentration in Journalism and PR.  Nicole is a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma, Marist Ambassadors, and Communication Arts Society.  She enjoys running and hanging out with her sorority sisters and friends.

CL Welcomes Greek Gear as an Affiliate!

College Lifestyles is proud to announce Greek Gear as their newest affiliate.  Greek Gear is a “superstore” for greek supplies!  They offer fraternity and sorority clothing, hats, footwear, jewelry, bags, signs and much more!  Greek Gear not only has some of the best prices around but the best quality as well!

Shirts/Sweatshirts

Can’t decide if you want screen printed letters or sewn on letters?  Mix it up and get a combination of both at Greek Gear.  The options seem endless at this greek superstore.  You can get polos, oxfords, tank tops, long sleeve shirts, unisex t-shirts, fitted t-shirts, and much more.  There is also an option between  hooded and original sweatshirts.  The color and letter combinations are to die for!

Bags

Looking for a bag to carry your books?  A nap sack for show?  Greek Gear has several bags to choose from.  Explore their supply of totes, shower caddy’s, field bags, , duffle bags, backpacks, briefcases, and much more!  There are bags for all activities.

Recruitment/Bid Day

Recruitment and Bid Day are some of the most important days to sorority and fraternities.  These are days to build on their organizations and add brothers and sisters.  At Greek Gear you can buy bid day packages and place group orders on your recruitment clothing.

Greek Gear has so much to offer for those involved in greek life.  If your not involved in greek life this is also a good opportunity to buy presents for family and friends.  Check out the website for College Lifestyles newest affiliate Greek Gear.

Stephanie Coppola is an intern at College Lifestyles ™.  She recently graduated from Quinnipiac University with a major in Print Journalism and a minor in Sports Studies.  She uses Greek Gear when purchasing her sorority clothing!

Nicole- Your new classy CL intern!

Name: Nicole Smith

School: Marist College

Major: Communications with a double concentration in Journalism and PR

Year in studies: Sophomore

I have been a College Lifestyles Intern since: Fall ‘11

Greek Affiliation:  Kappa Kappa Gamma, Zeta Chi Chapter

Organizational Involvement: Marist Ambassadors, Communication Arts Society, The Generator Magazine

Pets: Roxie, my amazing Wheaton Terrier!

My friends would say I am: Hard working, caring, and trustworthy.

My style is: Pretty laid back- I enjoy my jeans and athletic wear, yet I also like to dress up when I have the opportunity.

My go-to accessory: Besides my running watch that I’m attached to, I love any type of necklace!

My favorite snacks: Ice cream, Nutella, and cookies!

My hobbies include: Running and reading.

Favorite movies:  I have so many! But it includes “Grease”, “Pirates of the Caribbean,” “A League of their Own.”

I have a slight obsession with: The color combo of blue and green, ice cream, and t-shirts.

I dislike: Haters

On my desk you will find: Pictures of my friends, my textbooks, and random knick knacks I’ve gathered over the years

My favorite form of social media: is Facebook, but Twitter is starting to catch up.

MAC vs PC: Definitely PC.

Coffee vs Tea: Depends!

Coke vs Pepsi: Can’t tell the difference

My definition of a classy co-ed: A woman who isn’t afraid to be the best she can be.  She is diligent, honest, and ready to accept challenges.  She isn’t afraid to be independent, but to also accept help and show respect to her family and friends.

Why I am excited about being an intern with College Lifestyles: CL is full of advice and unique ideas that are beneficial to anyone who reads and listens to them.  I would also like to help people the way CL does.

Nicole Smith is a sophomore at Marist College.  She is a Communications major with a double concentration of Journalism and PR.  She likes to spend time with her Kappa Kappa Gamma sisters and friends, studying, and running

CL! Exclusive! Interview with Jessica Quirk Creator of “What I Wore” Blog

You wake up in the morning throw on a cute outfit and as you’re walking down the street you start getting compliments and then you want to make sure everyone on campus notices your cute outfit.

If you haven’t heard of Jessica Quirk she is the amazing creator of the “What I Wore” blog that showcases her amazing daily outfits (photos courtesy of her husband Adam). She posts her outfit creations on a daily basis and not only are they trendy and cute but they also mix a lot of couture items with vintage items to give them a fun twist!

 

What girl doesn’t want the whole world to see the amazing outfit she created?!

“I’m thrilled with where the blog has taken me, but no, I didn’t start it with these opportunities in mind. I sincerely just love getting dressed every day,” said Quirk.

Her blog has taken social media by storm and has now become a popular selling novel dubbed the “Cookbook for your Closet.”

Quirk’s Cinderella moment came when the PR girls from Kate Spade sent her the perfect, crème, satin heels accented with a ruffle for her wedding day in September of 2010.

“At this point, I don’t accept many of the gift offers I receive, simply because I don’t have the closet space,” said Quirk, “I’m so grateful to be able to work with so many talented designers be it through collaboration or attending their fashion shows.

While many of us look at celebrities like Lauren Conrad or Kim Kardashian for style inspiration, Jessica takes her own spin by looking at fictional characters and decades to create her ultra trendy outfits.

“I look more to fictional characters from decades past for inspiration.  I love the late seventies and the styling in Annie Hall and Love Story.  I also have a thing for the 50′s housewife, especially Betty Draper.”

 

Her style is not only unique and trendy but also classy to model a CL’s closet after. Jessica Quirk leaves us Classy Coeds with some words to live by:

“Really use the resources you have available to you.  Many other students donate or sell their gently used clothing and that’s a great place to shop when you’re on a budget.  I don’t think I found my real style until a few years after I graduated and had disposable income to use for that purpose.”

Every CL girl should check out Jessica Quirk’s book What I Wore: Four Seasons, One Closet, Endless Recipes for Personal Style.

CL’s Guide to Keeping Things Positive!

As much as we wish college is nothing but hanging with sisters, making crafts and lounging on a favorite couch, college is also about hitting the books . . . hard. Piling homework, work and sorority meetings and social functions can really stress a CL girl out! Even though a girl may be stressed but it’s still good to show some love to your fellow sisters, friends and family!

Designating a sister to keep things positive is a great way to keep everyone’s moods upbeat! Before or after chapter she could show something funny from YouTube to boost everyone’s moral. Every girl loves a sweet treat and candy is a good way to any girl’s heart, bringing in candy or cupcakes puts everyone in a sweet mood and ready for business.

Sometimes in our crazy hectic schedules we sometimes forget to tell people thank you for all they do or remind them how much we care. Using CL’s TSM (Text Sweet Messages) Campaign is a great way to remind every sister how much they mean to each other. TSM is all about taking an amount of time from each day and texting positive messages.

Going along with positive texts is positive emails. When sorority girls are bombarded by emails everyday from classmates, professors, and anything to do with Greek Life it tends to become a hassle. Anytime a sister sends an email, maybe put a positive message at the end to make everyone smile or try to put a positive spin on things!

Everyone has bad days and it’s good to have something to remind a girl how much her sister’s care about her. Making a simple booklet from bright paper and having fellow sisters write positive messages is a great way to keeps sisters close and keep attitudes on positive on the days when a girl gets hit with something negative.

These are just easy steps any girl can take to let her sisters know she cares and to keep everyone’s day positive! Everyone has rough days and it’s good to know you have a sister to lean on when things get tough!

CL’s Guide to Dressing CLassy for Any Sorority Event!

Being in a sorority requires you to dress for many different kinds of events. Different recruitment occasions, social events, academic banquets, and formal soirees. Worrying about the perfect outfit can cause a CL girl to toss and turn and search through her closet trying to decide what to wear.

Finding the perfect outfit for a recruitment event can cause some stress if it’s catering to a specific theme. The first step to take its scour your closet to see if you have anything compatible, if the theme is a beach type theme try a bright dress or shirt and accessorize with some fun bangles or nautical inspired jewelry! You don’t have to go to in-depth with the theme but just remember to keep it classy because you always have to dress to impress for recruitment!

Academic banquets can be hard to dress for because it could the attire could go all the way from formal attire to business casual. Try to get a feel from people who have been there before what the best way to dress is. A good tip to remember is to always dress better than what you think you should. A black dress with a cardigan and a dash of pearls will look good no matter the dress code.

Formals are the easiest to dress for because the only thing a girl has to decide is a gown or cocktail dress! Formals are meant to be fun and have a class evening with sisters and handsome dates so pick a trendy dress that compliments you but is still classy! Remember to wear heals you can dance in and wear fun headbands or clips for your hair!

Don’t be afraid to borrow clothes! That’s what sisters are for! Don’t forget confidence is always the best accessory!

CL Asks Lauren Maker Part I: How to Achieve 5 Classic Make-up Looks

CL spoke to Motives Cosmetics’ Lauren Maker on how to achieve these classy five looks every CL girl should learn!

1.  
2.  

1.      Smokey Eye Look

Make-ups and tools:

• Neutral base coat eye shadow
• Two to four colors of eye shadows
• White or beige color eye shadow
• Eyeliner
• Mascara
• Separate make-up brush

How to achieve the look:

• Apply base coat shadow.
• Divide eye in half as if it were a circle. Apply darkest color to outside half of eye. Apply a “shade two times lighter than the first,” said Maker, to the inside half of the eye. “Start out light before you go too dark,” Maker said. You can always apply more shadow to make it darker.
• If you are using more than two colors, go from darkest on the outside to lightest on the inside, “then apply…color over the crease of the eyelid” Maker said.
• Use the white or beige shadow to highlight underneath brow.
• Apply eyeliner on upper lid. Smudge.
• Make sure you are happy with the look before applying mascara. If you make a big mistake, “scratch it and start over,” said Maker.
• Add under eye liner if necessary.
• Use brush to blend.

 

Make-ups and tools:

• Moisturizer with an SPF
• Lip balm with an SPF
• Beige, peach, pink or brown colors of eye shadow
• Concealer
• Mascara

How to achieve the look:

• After showering, moisturize. A moisturizer with an SPF is very important in the summer.
• Use concealer to cover up blemishes. “You can use foundation to cover up blemishes – just as long as you blend it into the rest of the face,” Maker said.
• Sweep one or two light colored eye shadows over eye lids – “anything that’s earthy,” Maker said. “Nude is in.”
• Apply mascara. “Don’t be afraid to wear waterproof,” Maker said. “I use it.” If you have trouble removing it, purchase an eye makeup remover.
• Apply lip balm – SPF is good!

 

3.      Job Interview Look

Make-ups and tools:

• Natural Look supplies, but with colored eye shadows instead of the neutral tones, if desired.

How to achieve the look:

• Apply like you would the Natural Look, but use the colored shadows instead of the nude and beige shades.  “Think peaches and pinks” Maker said.

Maker said it is ok to wear a lot of make-up if that is your regular look, but that, “they (employers) want to see your resume and personality,” she said. She advises nothing too bold, and to avoid a nighttime look. This can be done, “by eliminating the excessive eyeliner” she explained.

4.      Day to Night Look

Make-up and tools:

• Eyeliner
• Mascara
• Eye shadow palette with these five colors (the browns can be traded for what Maker calls matching colors, for example, blue and purples):
  • Dark brown (or blue)
  • Light brown (or purple)
  • Gold shimmer
  • Light beige
  • White

How to achieve the look:

• Start out with the Natural Look or Job Interview Look.
• Use shadows to darken to the Smokey Eye Look.
• Add eyeliner and smudge.
• Re-apply mascara.

“Remember that brown eye-liner works best for blue eyes,” said Maker. “Hazel can wear any colors.  Brown eyes look fresh with a light application of blue liner or black.”

Make-up and tools:

• Colored eye shadows
• Blush in a peach or light pink

How to achieve the look:

• Start out with the Natural Look, using the neutral colors, and then add the colored shadows for a pop, but make sure it does not turn into “a nighttime look,” Maker said.
• Apply blush.

Make sure to look out for CL Asks Lauren Maker Part II: How to Care for Your Beauty Products, coming soon!

Maker does consultations, gives beauty tips and sells beauty supplies.  She can also get you started on a Motives Cosmetic’s career! You can e-mail her at beautybylaurenm@gmail.com or leanr more about what she does by visiting her Motives Cosmestics page at http://motivescosmetics.com/beautybylauren.

Make-up by Debra Schreiber.

Model, Katie Wawrzyniak.

Debra Schreiber is a senior at Duquesne University where she studies journalism and Spanish. She loves cake decorating, the Pittsburgh Penguins, the television show So You Think You Can Dance, hitting the gym, and her lovely Alpha Sigma Tau sisters!

CL’s Guide to Buying your Big the Best Graduation Gift

Finding the perfect gift for anyone is tough but finding the perfect goodbye gift for your big can be even tougher. What haven’t you already bought her and what crafts haven’t you made for her. The best thing to emphasize is all the memories you both shared so it’s something she can look back on.

The best thing to encompass all of your memories is to make your big a graduation scrapbook. Compiling pages of all the favorite memories and memorabilia is something that a Big can keep around forever. Reminiscing on old memories can bring bigs and littles even closer. 

Even when Bigs are passing down their sorority t-shirts, flowers, and décor it’s good to give them their last family shirt. A family shirt is a great gift because they unique to what a family is all about and it shows the different generations that a big has started. It’s also something that they can wear when they come to visit or during Homecoming weekend.

A great gift that will keep a big grounded in the real world is a journal filled with all of your sorority’s information and what makes your sorority unique. Sometimes in the hectic crazy world a girl can lose herself and it’s good to have a friendly reminder of the woman she grew to be.

 

Piggy banks are the best way to save up a girl’s pennies so why not give a Big a piggy bank to save up her pennies to come visit again! It’s a cute reminder that even though a Big is graduating that she’ll be missed not only by her chapter, but especially her Little.

A practical gift is a nice briefcase or bag that can hold a resume or portfolio. It’ll be great for interviews and when she lands that amazing job she’s been working hard for! Buy a professional one but still has details that go with her personality like a bow or a splash of floral print.

CL’s Tip for a Outdoor Sister Getaway

A sisterhood event should be created with the upmost relaxation in mind. We all get stressed from our classes, group projects, and duties within the sorority. Planning a sisterhood hangout should focus on two things: having a good time and creating fun memories with your sisters.

If the weather is nice try having a barbeque or a day at the lake. This will take off the pressure of having it at a sister’s house and worrying about cleaning up. Nice weather cheers anyone up and it provides a change in scenery that could make your lovely ladies forget about their stresses at school!

Having each sister make a dish will show off everyone’s baking talents. We all have our favorite dishes that we brag about and it’s a good chance to show them off! Checking out CL’s nutrition section can also give you some ideas.

Having a Barbeque or lake day can be fun in the sun but every girl needs to be prepared! Make sure to pack your sunscreen and blankets to lay out on. To beat the heat, packing water is essential.

Don’t stop there. Many amusement parks offer group deals at cut prices so sisters can all go together. You can brave the twisting winding rides together and eat all the cheese fries and waffle cone sundaes the park has to offer.

Making sure friendly, fun games are there are definitely a priority. Games like Frisbee, volleyball, and corn hole offer friendly competition and are great activities to break the ice if needed.

The last thing to remember is to have a good time. For a few hours just forget about what homework and projects you have to work on and spend some quality time with those who make you feel at ease and love you the most—your sisters.

« Previous Page — Next Page »