Sunbathing Etiquette for the Classy Co-Ed

It officially hit 80 degrees on campus yesterday, and I know it’s only a matter of time (or it could be happening now!) before all the ladies start working on their tans.

If you must risk melanoma and become a sun goddess, here’s some tips to kick off sunbathing season in a classy way.

1. Sunbathe in appropriate areas: No one wants to be in class looking out the window at your lady lumps in a triangle top. I once saw a girl sunbathing directly in front of an academic building in a tiny weeny bikini in the middle of the day. I was embarrassed for her as I watched a 60-year-old professor stare in disbelief. Is there an area of campus that is most frequented by sunbathers? Try there after class or on the weekends.

2. Always bring a cover-up: Post-sunbathing, it might be tempting to wander to the coffee shop for an iced latte or run to the library to print out a last-minute article, but cover up!

Your lack of clothing is a distraction to others, and you’ll likely get a few snarky comments or stares. Sure, be proud of your body, but this is not the appropriate way to display it. Target and Old Navy have a whole slew of cute cover-ups for under $20.

3. Be considerate of others: You and you friend might think it’s a great idea to bring out some iPod speakers and blast Justin Bieber,  but chances are someone else might not appreciate it. Especially on campus, groups nearby  could be having meetings or individuals might be trying to study. Be considerate of your neighbors–campus is meant for everyone.

4. Dress weather appropriate: After a long winter, 65 degrees might seem positively tropical, but refrain from pulling out the two-piece. Sun yourself in shorts and a tanktop or wait until it gets warmer to bust out the swimwear. Otherwise, it just looks like you’re silly or far too eager to expose yourself.

When in doubt, I try to follow this guideline when it comes to anything wearing a bathing suit: Don’t do anything you wouldn’t make fun of someone else for doing. Also be sure to check out CL’s guides to beach hats and swimsuits!

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM) and a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University. She is a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi and hopes everyone remembers to put on sunscreen this season!

5 Awesome Internships for Awesome Co-Eds

That old, “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” essay doesn’t have to be a bore to write this fall–there’s hundreds of cool things to do during your summer to make the most out of your time off and still have fun. Here’s some really cool internships I would definitely apply to if I were you:

Southwest Airlines Internship Currently hiring interns in about a dozen departments, including communications, finance and marketing. View intern listings here.

Why it’s cool: Intern activities, career development, paid experience and . . . free flights. Want to jet to Nashville for dinner? BAM! You’re there. Want to visit Aunt Mitzie in Birmingham? BAM! Want to catch a White Sox game? You get the idea.

Association of Zoos and Aquariums Marine mammals, cheetahs or birds–find an internship anywhere in the country working with animals at area zoos and aquariums. My personal favorite: Elephant Care Intern with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey.

Why it’s cool: Everyone watched those nature shows growing up like Jeff Corwin and secretly wanted to be the one feeding the dolphins. Plus you can find one near your hometown and save money by living with the ‘rents.

Disney Internship These guys invented “Happily ever after”–of course it’s going to be great! If you’ve ever wanted to play a character at Walt Disney World, here’s your chance. Acting and singing not your thing? Engineers (dubbed “Imagineers” at Disney), hospitality majors and a slew of others like those interested in sports management, finance and biology can find their fit here too.

Why it’s cool: It’s the happiest place on Earth. ‘Nuff said. And you can earn up to nine hours of credit for it (depending on your school).

Summer Camp Counselor Check out this site or look at other camps to apply to be a summer counselor. (Plan ahead for next year and bookmark this site to be a Space Camp Counselor–I ALWAYS wanted to go!).

Why it’s cool: Growing up you spent your days making crafts, canoeing and swimming–why should that change in college? And you can get leadership experience that’s hard to find if you’re fetching coffee in an office.

Green-Collar Internship Some of us don’t just want an internship for the summer–we want to enact change. And the green industry is booming! Try this site or look for internships with other environmental non-profits.

Why it’s cool: Play a part in making a difference in the world–what could be cooler? You can also make important connections with people and organizations that can help you land a job when you graduate.

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM) and a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University. She is a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi and upon graduation will be completing a post-grad internship with the Portland Press Herald.

This Co-Ed’s Spring Must-Haves

It’s midterms–so allow yourself a few minutes (or, ok, an hour or so) to glance through some of the new season’s offerings (and maybe start making a wish list of your own). After all, the first day of spring is March 21!

Mini-floral twist-neck dress: I would love to wear this to class, out to dinner with the boyfriend or with a blazer to my internship.

Boyfriend Blazer: And look here! This would go perfect with that dress. Now we can all have LC’s effortless fashion–plus this is on sale!

White Canvas Classics: These come in dozens of colors, and for every pair that’s bought, TOMS donates a pair to someone in need. Philanthropy is always in style.

Pale Yellow Tiger Lily Flower Post Earrings: I’m generally obsessed with anything I find on Etsy, but these are especially cute and spring-y.

Crinkle flower T-strap sandals: I love a good red shoe–really makes an outfit pop (and makes me smile, too).

Metallic Twist Elastic Headband: Love all the cute headbands. My friend Dorothy is a fan of the flower hair accessories too. Check out Liz’s take on hair accessories or let Katy teach you how to make your own.

Bright scarf: Alas, these are out of my price range, but maybe someone will feel the need to buy me a gift–or I can find it cheaper on eBay!

Also, be sure to check out Kaitlyn’s Oscar-worthy fashion tips!

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University and a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi. She’s excited the snow has finally melted and warmer weather is on the way!

A Co-Ed’s Conundrum: Hooking Up

Monday and Thursday mornings I hear about who hooked up with whom, who spent the night and who did the walk of shame before class started. People don’t date at my school. They “hook up.”

In the interest of full disclosure, I have not participated in this culture (I guess that’s what a monogamous relationship does to you). And I’m not one to judge those who do.

From what I understand, college students go out and drink on party nights, all in the hope that this “social lubricant” will lead to a warm body to snuggle up with at night’s end but with no promise of a relationship in the future.

Sounds all fun and games—after all, college is the only time there are this many single, sexually-active people in one place.

In one of my (all-female) women’s studies classes, we discussed the hook-up culture—why do we do it, and is it healthy?

For some of the women it was simple: It’s fun, I enjoy it, it empowers me and isn’t this what college is all about?

For others it was a little less optimistic: I hope it will lead to a relationship, it’s something to do, I’ve never really thought about it…and the kicker…I feel it’s expected of me or I have no other choice.

How sad, I thought. Beautiful, driven and intelligent women giving themselves to men they barely know because they feel it’s their only option.

Some food for thought:

Students believe their peers are hooking up more than they actually are. And “hooking up” has a different meaning depending on who you ask—here’s a great article from Inside Higher Ed.

The conservative press has spearheaded the hook -up issue by saying it’s really about promiscuous women and a loss of values. Women have just as much right to hook up as men. Don’t let guilt and scare tactics stop you from doing whatever it is that empowers you (whether that means hooking up or not).

Alcohol compromises judgment, and in many states consent cannot be given while intoxicated. Just like drinking and driving don’t mix, sex and alcohol don’t either. Make decisions when you’re sober so that you won’t regret them in the morning. Remember: Consent is not the absence of a ‘no’ but the presence of a ‘yes.’

Consider all sides of the issue, make sure you’re making decisions for you and ALWAYS use protection (but remember there’s no protection for the heart)!

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University and a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi. Follow her on Twitter @Steph_Hardiman.

Don’t Know Me? Don’t Friend Me!: Facebook Etiquette

It’s on my computer at home, on campus and at work. It’s on my phone. My 78-year-old grandma’s on it, as are all of my ex-boyfriends.

(Sadly) few things in my life are as ubiquitous as Facebook.

And I find a lot of people don’t know how to use it correctly.

My friends and I gripe about people’s “fb” habits, and it came to my attention that some ground rules need to be set:

“Friend-ing”: Don’t friend someone you don’t know (or will probably never know). It just creeps people out. Actually meet the person to friend them. At the same time, de-friending someone is a low blow. Put them on limited profile or manage your mini-feed settings so that they don’t pop up (you can also “hide” people’s FarmVille or other annoying application updates this way).

Sob stories: When you lose your job, fail a test or break up with your significant other, don’t splash it across my screen. Express disappointment in a classy, discrete way or just remain quiet. And avoid TMI (Too Much Information!). I recently had someone tell me one of their “friends” posted about her miscarriage in her status—yikes!

Privacy: Know your settings! You might be surprised who can see your photos (letting “friends of friends” see them could mean thousands of people you don’t know seeing your stuff!) and other information. And I have to be mom for a second: supervisors, potential employers, university officials and other important people can find your information. So make sure it’s super clean or super private!

Revenge: This should go without saying, but do not create hate groups, publicly criticize someone on a wall or log in to someone’s account. It’s just tacky. And lies can get you in trouble for libel (seriously).

Know your medium: Understand when it’s appropriate to reply to a thread, make a separate wall post or send a message. If it’s private information, maybe send someone a message. And no one likes it when a “liked” post results in 25 notifications that two people are having a conversation about spring break plans. Furthermore, Facebook interaction should not substitute for phone calls or e-mails.

Finally–Don’t say something on Facebook you wouldn’t say to someone’s face.

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University and a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi. Her biggest Facebook pet peeve is when people update their status like Twitter with play-by-plays of their day.

5 Tips for Surviving the College LDR

The Long-Distance Relationship: Six hundred and sixty-four miles separated me from my boyfriend for more than three and a half years–ok, it’s only 663 this year because he moved a few blocks east.

For some stupid reason, we decided that long distance could work–seeing each other only every six weeks, exorbitant cell phone bills and driving through the night just to spend a precious 36 hours together.

While my friends could snuggle up with their boyfriends and their boy toys took them out on weekend dates, I went home alone, cooked dinner for myself and waited until 9 p.m. for free calling.

It sucks. There’s no two ways about that one. Sometimes all you want to do is look someone in the face when you need to yell at them or remember the way they use their hands when they talk or recall the scent of their shampoo.

If purgatory exists, methinks it looks a lot like a long distance relationship. Or airport baggage claim. And I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

But would I do it again? Without a doubt.

We went to very different schools and studied very different things. We grew up, but we didn’t grow apart. The distance gave us the space to try new things, learn to be alone and to make friends we wouldn’t have made had we been together.

So what’s the key to making it last? There’s no silver bullet, but here’s a few things we think work pretty well–and it’s got to come from both parties:

1. Have an end in sight: The goal of every long-distance relationship is eventually to be short-distance (a.k.a. “normal”). Without an end, you’ll find yourself asking why you continue to torture yourself.

2. Make an effort to see each other on a regular basis: Even if it’s only a few times per year, knowing when regular visits occur can help keep perspective.

3. Make them feel special every day: Everyone needs to know they’re the best thing in their significant other’s life, but this is especially true in LDRs when you can’t give them a hug whenever you feel like it. Call him for no reason, mail him a love letter, create a custom Pandora station–whatever it is that will let him know he is awesome.

4. Go on virtual dates: Watch a television show together on the phone or read the same book on the weekends. It will create a shared experience despite the distance.

5. Trust each other: It’s easy to suspect the worst when he doesn’t answer the phone or when you see what appears to be a sketchy photo from a house party. Trust that he isn’t running around on you. Jealousy and anger can consume a relationship when you don’t always have the full story.

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University. She is a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi–follow her on Twitter @Steph_Hardiman.

Stephanie Is All About February

1.  Name: Stephanie

2.  Be honest, did you watch the Superbowl? Yes, I watched it. And by “watch” I mean it was on in the background while I procrastinated about my doing homework by Facebook stalking.

3.  Romantic comedy or love story? Romantic comedy–love stories just give us poor perceptions of reality. Sorry, someone’s gotta be the Negative Nancy!

4.  Favorite ‘love’ movie(s): Runaway Bride, The Notebook, My Best Friend’s Wedding

5.  Love getting or giving Valentine’s cards? Both!

6.  My Valentine’s cards have to have the following cartoon character: Spiderman!

7.  Chocolate or flowers? Flowers. I can’t eat them … or at least it would be really awkward if I did.

8.  Favorite flower: French tulips (and, of course, the wine carnation)

9.  A great Valentine date would be: tall, attractive, wealthy, have a great sense of humor and adore me (that’s the kind of date you meant, right?)

10.  My favorite love quote: “This love is difficult, but it’s real.” Thanks for that, T-Swizzle.

11.  Things that ‘make my world go round and I love’: 5-hour phone conversations, cuddling, that “new love” feeling, srat sisters, Christmastime at Starbucks, Michigan sunsets

12.  Favorite Winter Olympic sport: Bobsled!

13.  Anything else you love about February: It only has 28 days, and it’s Black History Month. Plus my school gives us a week off for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University. She is a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi and will be drawing anatomically correct hearts on her valentines.

The Power of Female Friendships

Do you have a female soul mate?  Sarah Morris is my female soul mate. Granted, I’ve had friends, and right now I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by a very close group of strong and intelligent women who will go to bat for me every day of the week. But Sarah is my best friend, and I know she’s going to be in my life for the rest of my life—no questions asked.

Male relationships are typically situational—guys are friends with other guys on the football team, in their dorm or at the desk next to them, but once those situations dissolve, often the friendships do too.

Women on the other hand, are programmed to form deep bonds—ones that often withstand the test of time and distance.  Over the winter holiday, I read “The Girls From Ames,” the story of 11 women and their 40 year friendship. These women weathered the storms of life—cancer, death, loss, divorce—and celebrated the victories, and they did it together, leaning on each other for support that they were unable to find in men.

Studies show that women who have close female friends are happier, healthier and live longer. Women live longer than men as it is, and as pessimistic as it seems, the majority of us will end up divorced; but we are left with our friends to support us.

Sarah isn’t going to cheat on me or decide one day she’s not ready to commit. In June I’ll be standing next to her when she gets married, and we joke that when we’re 90 we’ll move into the same nursing home. Female relationships are what we can hold onto for our entire lives.

It’s sad that we use Valentine’s Day as the only day of the year to tell people how much we care about them. Often it takes a crisis for us to realize just how important people are in our lives and how much they care for us.

So on a day that’s all about your significant other, be sure to give thanks for the other people of significance.

All the cool kids are blogging

It seems like everyone I know (or want to know) has some kind of blog—even if it’s only micro-blogging 140 characters at a time on Twitter.

It’s caught our culture by storm–some of my professors require us to blog for class.

Maybe it’s the paparazzi and reality-show entertainment that makes us crave information about each other, but maybe it’s the want to know more about what makes us members of the human race.

At a writer’s conference I attended this weekend, Anne Clelland (follow her on Twitter @handshake20) showed her take on the anatomy of a blog.

Here’s Anne’s tips on “The Art of Blogging”:

1. Keyword-Rich Title: this will let the reader know the article’s topic and can trip search engines so people can find your blog.
2. Opening that introduces the topic and captures reader’s heart, mind or both.
3. Three points that convey the significance or meaning of the topic.
4. Three or more links to top sources that support/relate to points (also a good way to attribute ideas!).
5. Image that symbolizes or expands content (ones you take yourself are always best).
6. Closing that answers “So what?” and moves reader to laughter, tears, insight.

Readers get click-happy and have problems concentrating on posts more than 300 words long, so make it tight and concise!

Determine what platform you want to host your blog. WordPress, Blogger and TypePad are all good choices.

If you’re serious about blogging, make sure you do it at least once per week to keep your blog active and your readers engaged. Tweet about or post your blog on Facebook to drive traffic to the site.

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University. She is a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi and learned a lot at the Roanoke Regional Writer’s Conference this weekend.

Campus’ Silent Issue: Sexual Assault

How big of an issue are rape and sexual assault on your campus? Chances are, you may not know.

Legally, schools are required to report these crimes to their students via the Clery Report (named after Jeanne Clery was raped and murdered and did not know that violent crimes were occurring at her school). Many universities don’t enforce this or do not enforce it correctly, even though it’s against federal law.

Still, only 5 percent of rapes are reported (this is similar to other violent crimes). Most survivors know their attackers and therefore may find it more difficult to come forward to seek justice for fear of social ostracism—from both men and women.

Here’s a great link to a video my friend, Cameron Steele, did about this issue at Washington and Lee University.

So what can you do about it?

• If a survivor confides in you, always believe her. It takes a lot of courage to put oneself out there to potential criticism.

• Make sure she gets treatment from a university counseling or health center. Health and safety always come first. Many communities have a women’s shelter or hotline that can offer confidential assistance. Often campuses have resources to help victims learn about options for prosecuting an attacker.

• Take a R.A.D. class.  The self-defense classes are women-only and you can search for one in your area. It’s empowering to know you could defend yourself against an attacker.

• Know your campus statistics. Google your school’s name along with “Clery” to search for your school’s report on campus violence. Many schools also participate in the National College Health Assessment, which can give insight into campus sexual assault.

• Get involved with anti-sexual assault or women’s groups on campus. Start a clothesline campaign to help survivors and their friends reclaim their voices.

• Look out for everyone—not just friends. If you see a potentially dangerous situation at a party, be sure to intervene. The awkwardness of interrupting someone’s evening is far more attractive than being assaulted. Someone will be glad you did. Check out the Green Dot Campaign.

• Realize that only a small percentage of men are attackers. But statistically, attackers will attack multiple times.

• Consent is not the absence of a ‘no’ but the presence of a ‘yes.’ Alcohol impairs judgment.

When it comes to assault, we are all victims. Men, women, gay, straight, friends and family. Because if it affects one of us, it affects all of us.

Stephanie Hardiman is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a senior journalism major at Washington and Lee University. She is a proud sister of Pi Beta Phi and dreams of a day when her daughter can attend W&L without fear of sexual assault.

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