Domestic Violence: No Joking Matter

My sorority, Alpha Chi Omega’s national philanthropy is domestic violence, so this is something that means a lot to me. Last year for our philanthropy week, one of the fraternities who participated made a banner with the Joker from The Dark Knight and put “Why so serious? Because domestic violence is no joking matter.” Clever, and kind of funny, but really true. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so what better time to get the word out!? I’m doing my part here at College Lifestyles (TM) by posting weekly for the month of October about Domestic Violence.  With domestic violence being in the headlines a lot lately, (Chris Brown/Rihanna anyone?) it’s really important that everyone gets the facts because it really is no joking matter!

Even though this is my sorority’s philanthropy, I don’t know all the facts. So for this weeks post, I turned to someone who knows a lot more, Amy Zoldak, an Alpha Chi Omega alumna who has taken it upon herself to learn the facts about domestic violence and in May, started a weekly effort to promote domestic violence awareness via social media. So read what she had to say, and I guarantee you’ll have a better understanding.

Q: What do you think is the number one thing people need to know about domestic violence?

A: That domestic violence does not discriminate. It doesn’t care what color you are, how old you are, where you live, whether you are rich or poor, gay or straight.  It was  also a huge surprise to me when I learned the prevalence of teen date violence.

Q: Can you elaborate on that? The teen date violence? Is that really common?

A: The statistics are scary. Here’s a couple examples: One recent national survey found that about 1 in 10 female high-school students and about 1 in 11 male students said they had been hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the past year. 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. (Liz Claiborne Inc. study on teen dating abuse conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2005.) Overall I think that the time a woman is at the greatest risk for domestic violence is between ages 18 and 24. For more information, I recommend these sites: http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/faq/dateviolfacts.asp and http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/statistics.htm.

Q: What should people who know someone possibly involved in domestic violence do about it?

A: Yes that is a great question and a really hard one. I have been grappling with it and trying to learn as much as possible.
Here’s what I think. First if you are a bystander and you see or hear it, you should say something. Doesn’t matter what you say, even just knocking on the door can stop someone and make them stop and reconsider. Great video on that from @bell_bajao
If it is a friend or relative, the best thing you can do for them is reassure them that you are there for them and that you love them no matter what that when they need you, you will be there I think it helps a little to develop empathy for the friend who is being abused. I read Crazy Love earlier this summer by Leslie Morgan Steiner. It is a first-person story about how she came to be in the relationship and how she got out.

Q: Interesting! Do you think sometimes the blame gets misplaced on the abused for staying with someone who abuses them?

A: Absolutely. I also think that if you are a strong confident sort of person who doesn’t take nonsense from people, it’s hard to imagine why someone would hit someone else and also why someone would stay. Crazy Love does a good job of intertwining the story with the mechanics of an abusive relationship, things that she didn’t see as warning signs at the time in retrospect were quite clearly warning signs. Violence always starts out small and escalates… the abused one feels like she can fix him or she’s the only one who loves him or that love will overcome the other obstacles. Leslie’s story is esp compelling because she was 2 years out from graduating Harvard when she met her abuser. It’s not a matter of being smart or not. Here’s a video of her reading from her book.

Q: My next question is about the whole Rihanna/Chris Brown debacle. It obviously brings up a lot of coverage for domestic violence. Do you think it has hurt or helped people’s perception of domestic violence?
A: hmm. Interesting question. I think any time domestic violence is discussed publicly it is probably a good thing. I think the music community too seemed to take the situation very seriously. I heard that Chris lost invitations to perform at awards shows.
It is always disheartening to hear things that you hear… like “she deserved it” or “why doesn’t she just leave him?” but in the big picture, for an issue that was not that long ago never discussed in public…at least there is public discussion and you do hear a lot of education and positive programming (meaning actual facts and figures and stats), particularly from Tyra Banks and Oprah, actual domestic violence awareness not gossip and speculation etc.

Q: Ok last question. There were rumors that the Rihanna/Chris Brown thing was mutual. Like she hit him so he hit her back. Do you think that makes situations any less serious if it is something like that?

A: No. In fact it’s probably more serious. I just feel like there is no room in any relationship for physical violence.
I didn’t see Chris Brown needing medical attention. Just sayin… I think that a lot of what goes on in an abusive relationship is about control. The abuser abuses so he/she can have control over the abusee, and occasionally also because he/she cannot handle their emotions/rage. So it’s possible that the abuser pushes and pushes the victim until she lashes out in some way (hitting, yelling, etc.) then that somehow justifies retaliation. (this is just speculation, I am not a therapist and I have not done research on this topic). Like it’s not my fault, she made me hit her.

For more information about Domestic Violence, Amy recommends these websites:
www.ncadv.org -the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

www.ndvh.org – National Domestic Violence Hotline

http://www.caepv.org/- the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence, and their executive directors blog is http://www.domesticviolenceworkplace.blogspot.com/.

To join in Amy’s weekly effort against domestic violence, follow her on twitter @Amy_Z.

If you or a friend are in trouble and need help, call the NDVH national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline is 866-331-9474 and you can chat online with a peer counselor at http://www.loveisrespect.org.

Domestic violence is serious, now is as good of time as any to get the word out! Join the fight against Domestic Violence today!

Hazing Hurts!

Did you know this week is National Hazing Prevention Week? This is a very important cause, especially to those of us involved in Greek Life and athletics, where hazing most commonly occurs. Most of us are familiar with the term hazing, but more than likely there are a lot of details you don’t know about hazing. Here are some facts from hazingprevention.org.

Hazing is - Any action taken or situation created intentionally:

• that causes embarrassment, harassment or ridicule
• risks emotional and/or physical harm
• to members of an organization or team, whether new or not, regardless of the person’s willingness to participate.

Hazing is more common than you may think, too. Check out these stats from hazingprevention.org:

• 55% of college students involved in clubs, teams and organizations experience hazing.
• Alcohol consumption, humiliation, isolation, sleep-deprivation, and sexual acts are hazing practices common across all types of student groups.
• 2 in 5 students say they are aware of hazing taking place on their campus. More than 1 in 5 report that they witnessed hazing personally.
• In 95% of cases where students identified their experience as hazing, they did not report the events to campus officials.
• 9 out 10 students who have experienced hazing behavior in college do not consider themselves to have been hazed.
• 36% of students say they would not report hazing primarily because “there’s no one to tell,” and 27% feel that adults won’t handle it right.
  
• As of November 1, 2007, the number of recorded hazing/pledging/rushing-related deaths in fraternities and sororities stands at 89 – 83 males and 6 females.
  
• 82% of deaths from hazing involve alcohol.
• In more than half of the hazing incidents, a member of the offending group posts pictures on a public web site.

Scary stuff, right? So what can you or your Greek chapter do to help? Here are some ideas:

• Spread the word. Just talking about hazing and it’s dangers gets the message out there. Make posters and put them up around school. Host an event about hazing. Tell a story about hazing gone wrong. Do a speech about or write a paper about hazing.
  
• Research. 44 States in the United States have laws against hazing. Find out if your state is one of them.
• Ask questions. If you are considering joining any kind of organization that might haze, ask. If you don’t get a straight answer, that may mean they support hazing but don’t want you to know.
  
• Encourage others to join the fight against hazing. Maybe get students to sign a non-hazing pledge at your school.
  
• Join Hazing Prevention’s facebook group or follow them on twitter.
  

Need more ideas? Hazing Prevention has tons of ideas here in their store.

Hazing is serious, and very scary. Even scarier is that it could happen to you or someone you know, as it is still widely supported. Join the fight against hazing, and know that you could have saved a life just by spreading the word.

Patrice is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a journalism major at William Woods University and is a member of Alpha Chi Omega.

“Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”- Dr. Seuss

You Had Me at Hello!

To be honest, my first recruitment week was kind of disappointing. Not just because of the crazy busy schedule and the lack of sleep. Overall, I was disappointed in the whole process. I didn’t get to participate like I wanted to, it wasn’t what I expected, and it had me questioning at times my decision to join the sorority in the first place.

However, everyone kept saying throughout the whole week how in the end it would all be worth it; all the tears, the disappointment, the frustration, the lack of sleep, all of it wouldn’t matter by the end of the week. I had my speculations; I didn’t know if I could just forget about all the disappointment and move on. But they were right. The last night, pref night, it was like someone flipped a switch and suddenly nothing else from the previous week mattered anymore. When I looked around the room and my saw my sorority sisters I was reminded of how much I loved them despite it all. When we performed our ceremony, and I looked around the room at my sisters with tears in their eyes,  I couldn’t help but tear up as well. This is the place I’m supposed to be; these are the people who I’m supposed to be with for my four years of college. It was great to be reminded of that unique, very special bond we share.

Bid Day the next morning was even better. Gaining 29 new sisters in one day is so amazing. I was so proud when they were running out to us, in our shirt. I was proud to be an Alpha Chi, proud that these fabulous 29 women chose us because they saw something great in us. It’s a really unique experience, and it’s something really special.

Our Bid Day shirts this year said “You had me at hello” on the back. While this may be a stretch (they didn’t quite have me at just hello!), it was a great reminder of how special our bond is. Later, when we were taking pictures of our class, I looked around at my sisters who joined with me and thought about all that we’ve been through in the past year together. There have been ups and downs and good times and bad, and these are the women who have seen it all. They’ve been there for me when I was sad, and me for them. And that is worth more than words.

These pictures are really special because in the first picture, we hardly knew each other. Most of us had just met hours before. And this year, I can call each one of these girls my sisters and my friends.

Patrice is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a journalism major at William Woods University and is a member of Alpha Chi Omega.

“Love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it’d be worth it.”

My Sister’s Keeper: Great to Read or Watch!

I’m a huge fan of Jodi Picoult’s books. I’ve read almost all of them, but the one that got me hooked is My Sister’s Keeper, one of Picoult’s best selling books. So imagine my excitement when My Sister’s Keeper became a movie!

If you’re not familiar with the storyline, My Sister’s Keeper is about a young girl, Kate, (played Sophia Vissilieva) who has Leukemia. Her sister Anna (Abigail Breslin) was conceived specifically to save Kate’s life. Throughout her life, she has endured several medical procedures all to help her sick sister. Until now, that is. Anna, 11, decides she doesn’t want to do it anymore. Her sister needs a kidney, a very invasive procedure, and Anna says no. She’s spent her whole life going through procedure after procedure and she is tired of it, so she sues her parents (Cameron Diaz and Jason Patrick) for the rights of her own body. See what happens next and it how it affects an already strained family.

The best part? The movie and the book have two different endings, so if you see the movie first the book isn’t spoiled and vise-versa! Be warned, though, when you see the movie bring tissues! It is definitely a movie you will cry at!

The acting in the movie is phenomenal; and it is from the director of The Notebook, so you know it’s good! All the actors play their characters so well you honestly forget they are acting. Definitely worth going to see!

Here’s a trailer for the movie: I highly recommend you go see it ASAP! I guarantee you will love it!

Patrice is an intern with College Lifestlyes (TM). She is a journalism major at William Woods University and is a member of Alpha Chi Omega.

“Love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it’d be worth it.”

Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Tweet!

So most likely you’ve at least heard of Twitter, maybe even checked it out or know someone who “tweets”. Well, here at College Lifestyles we are big fans of top 5 lists, so I’m going to tell you the top 5 reasons why you should jump on the bandwagon & join Twitter!

5. It’s a great source of news- both entertainment and world. All the major news sources such as CNN, NBC, etc. have twitter pages, including entertainment news channels such as E! What’s great about getting your news from twitter is that it is, for one thing, it is straight to the point. With only 150 characters to work with, you get the facts without all the extra “fluff” you might get on TV. Also, it is real time, pretty much immediately. Since people can tweet anytime, anywhere, you can find out about things such as a plane crash or earthquake as it’s happening, or right after it happens before the news even begins to pick it up.

4. You’re not alone! Have you ever been sitting on the couch, by yourself, watching your favorite TV show & all the sudden something super climatic or exciting happens and you wish you could talk about it with someone?!? Well on Twitter, you can. Once, I simply tweeted “Whose watching Brother’s & Sisters tonight?!” and I got a bunch of responses and was able to vent about my show! Or take for instance, the American Idol finale, something that has millions of viewers. Want to know what America thinks about the result? Millions of people were tweeting live about the finale, and sharing their thoughts.

3. Great way to network your blog & meet new people. Do you have a blog, or have you thought about starting one? Twitter is a great way to promote your blog, and to find other bloggers who share your same interests or who could turn out to be great “blog friends”. Also, not only can you connect with bloggers, but chances are you could connect with sorority sisters from other schools! Through twitter, I’ve gotten the chance to know a bunch of fellow Alpha Chi’s & even people who work at headquarters!

2. Celebrities! Need I say more?! Ever wanted to ask your favorite celeb a question? On Twitter, you can & they might even answer! Justin Timberlake (@jtimberlake) holds Q & A sessions on twitter & answers questions of his fans! The Jonas Brothers have also held a Twitter chat with fans as well. Other celebrities on twitter include Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) Demi Moore (@mrskutcher) Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) Barack Obama (yes the president!) John Mayer (@johncmayer) Joel Madden (@joelmadden) & many, many more. See here for a complete list of celebs on Twitter. On Twitter, you can keep up with their latest happenings & maybe even see exclusive pics!

1. Opportunities! You never know what you might find on Twitter, including great opportunities. For example, I found out about this fabulous College Lifestyles internship via Twitter. Twitter is a great way to get a message out to mass audiences, so several companies use Twitter & may be tweeting about great opportunities. Another great example of an opportunity is free stuff! A lot of authors & companies hold contests via Twitter & give out free stuff. For instance, Meg Cabot (@MegCabot) has given out books for free to her Twitter followers! Also, it’s a great way to learn about philanthropy & charity opportunities! Through Twitter, I learned about Spirit Jump, an organization who boosts the spirits of seriously ill people. Using the hashtag #charitytuesday, you can find out about all kinds of amazing projects & ways to give back! Other projects include #militarymonday, dedicated to giving back to military families.

So, have you signed up for Twitter yet?! When you do (because you know you’re going to now!), make sure you follow us @collegelifestyl & us fabulous interns: @patrice0x0x @kaitortot @trimblyton @MarisaWoodham @KMWein!

Patrice is an intern with College Lifestyles (TM). She is a journalism major at William Woods University and is a member of Alpha Chi Omega.

“Love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it’d be worth it.”

“What’s Your Sign?” Maybe Not What You Think!

We all know and love (or maybe not, cheesy much!?)  the infamous pick up line “So what’s your sign?”, right? Well next time someone asks you this, you may want to re-think your answer! According to this article by Live Science, what you think your astrological sign is may actually not be your sign at all!

According to Live Science, the astrological signs were conceived over 2200 years ago, and are most likely inaccurate today. This is because the constelations that early astrologers were looking at when the astrological signs were determined are not the same as they are today due to something called procession that alters the constellations. Procession is the wobble of the earth around its axis every 25,800 years. Since it has been more than that since the signs were originally calculated, they are no longer the same today!

So what’s your sign now? Here’s the list of your “real” sign, including a new sign that you’ve probably never heard of; Ophiuchus.

Capricorn – Jan 20 to Feb 16
Aquarius – Feb 16 to Mar 11
Pisces – Mar 11 to Apr 18
Aries – Apr 18 to May 13
Taurus – May 13 to Jun 21
Gemini – Jun 21 to Jul 20
Cancer – Jul 20 to Aug 10
Leo – Aug 10 to Sep 16
Virgo – Sep 16 to Oct 30
Libra – Oct 30 to Nov 23
Scorpius – Nov 23 to Nov 29
Ophiuchus – Nov 29 to Dec 17
Sagittarius – Dec 17 to Jan 20

For more of the scientific details of how this change occurred and how the signs are calculated, make sure you check out Live Science’s article!

So next time that guy in the bar asks you for your sign, now not only can you tell him but you can impress him with your new found knowledge of astrological signs!

Diary of the Traveling CL Interns: Lake Edition

I’ve been vacationing in Sun River, Oregon for the week and as part of our vacation, we decided to drive up to Crater Lake. It was such a cool experience, I had to share it with you all! Here are some fun facts about Crater Lake:

• Crater Lake gets its name because it was created by a volcano that erupted and left this giant whole in the Earth pretty much. Since it is surrounded by mountains that get lots of snow, that is where the water comes from, and also a small percentage of the water comes from rain.
• Crater Lake was discovered about 770,000 years ago. The first guys to discover it had to lower a boat down with a crane to the water from the top of the mountain since there was no trail to get down to the lake.
• At Crater Lake, you can hike down the trail and take a boat ride tour of the lake.
• Crater Lake is unbelievably blue & unbelievably clear. You can look off the boat into the water and see the bottom of the lake. It’s that clear.
• Crater Lake is the deepest lake in the United States, and the 7th deepest lake in the world! Its deepest point is at  1,932 feet. The tour guide gave a great visual of just how deep the lake is: If you take the Eiffel Tower and put it on the bottom of the lake, then put the Empire State Building on top of that, and put the Statue of Liberty on top of them, you would still have about 100 feet left of the lake.
• The lake has a lot of really cool landmarks including Wizard Island, Llao Rock, and Skell Head. All of these were created from the volcano eruption which created the lake.

This is the view from the top of the mountain before you hike down!

This is the view from the side of the tour bus! Isn’t it beautiful!?

So, if you’re ever in Oregon you should definitely go check out Crater Lake! The hike up from the lake is kind of exruciating, but it’s well worth it to see this beautiful lake up close!

Introducing… Patrice!

Hey, everyone!! 1st of all I just wanna say how excited I am to be an intern at College Lifestyles!!! If you haven’t been here before, please take a minute and look around because Shelly has put together an awesome site! Also, take a minute (if you haven’t already!) to read the other interns’ bio’s because they are all really awesome girls who I’m so excited to be working with!  

Ok. So you wanna know more about me? Well, alright. Who doesn’t like talking about themselves, right!?  Here goes nothing: 

• I am entering my sophomore year at William Woods University in Fulton, MO. I’m studying Communications (AKA Journalism)! 
• I am an Alpha Chi Omega (AXΩ) & I LOVE it!! Joining my sorority was the best thing that ever happened to me! I’ve met some of my best friends there & I’m so thankful! I held the office of Publications Chair this past semester and I was published in our national magazine, The Lyre!
• I live in Dallas, TX when I’m not in school, but I’ve also lived in Atlanta, GA & I was born in Raleigh, NC. 
• In my spare time I like to shop, spend time with friends, and blog at my person blog here! 

Like I said, I’m really excited about this internship & I can’t wait to blog some more. Some topics I’m looking forward to covering include:

• Philanthropies & good causes such as Relay for Life 
• Eating Disorder representation such as fun plays & stuff 
• And it’s not all serious… I have lots of fun topics in mind, but you’ll just have to come back for those!

Well, that’s it about it!! I hope you’ll stick around see what we have in store for you next! (I feel like I should have some cool like “exit line” here like you know you love me xoxo Gossip Girl Patrice!) haha

« Previous Page