Seven Healthy Ways for a Classy Co-Ed to Deal with a Breakup

“It was nice while it lasted…” These were the words my boyfriend said first, when he broke up with me.  Well, he didn’t actually say them.  He texted them.

Yes, he broke up with me via text message.

He texted the whole breakup message on the day before I was scheduled to take two final exams.  Perfect timing, right?

I was still in bed when I read it, so I placed my Blackberry back on my nightstand and rolled over.  I breathed deeply and slowly.  I felt as if I were on a precipice.  Either I would go teetering over the edge into full breakdown mode, or I would hold on for dear life and push through this moment.  I had exams to ace in the coming days.

There is never a perfect time to break up.  So many things are happening in our daily lives that deserve our full-attention.  Finding time to nurse a broken heart or a wounded spirit can be difficult, if not impossible.

For me, it was impossible.  I had three exams for which I was not prepared, a creative writing portfolio due on Thursday, and a final paper, which I had yet to start, due at the end of the week.  There was no time for me to be the “broken-hearted girl” Beyoncé sings about.  I was a college student.  And I had to act like it.

Inspired by my experience handling a breakup (with the worst timing ever), I decided to compile a list of healthy ways to help my fellow classy coeds deal with a breakup.

1. Never suppress your emotions. After a breakup, allow yourself the time to be upset.  Pretending that you are not upset about a breakup is not okay.  It doesn’t get rid of your feelings of hurt; it covers them up, and delays the healing process.  Additionally, holding in emotions wreaks havoc on your immune system and your body.  You’re likely to experience headaches, stomachaches, lower back pain, and other more serious ailments if you continue to harbor unresolved emotions.  I didn’t have the time to fully acknowledge my feelings because I had exams for which to study, but I did give myself two hours to be upset and to feel hurt about my breakup. 

2. Spend time with friends and family. True friends will always be there for you in times of need.  If you’re great friends with your roommate, great!  Your shoulder to lean on is less than a call away.  Hopefully, you’ve formed a close-knit group of college friends to keep you sane and together while away from home.  They are the ones you should talk to about your feelings.  They will also keep you from feeling lonely, now that your significant other is not filling up your free time.  Connecting with a family member is also a good way to lift your spirits.  Studies show that spending time with others makes you happier.

3. Eat healthy and happy. Boy dumps girl.  Boy runs for the hills.  Girl runs for the nearest ice cream, chocolate, or whatever sweet and unhealthy food she can find.  Not quite the best idea.  I must admit, I enjoy indulging in double-chocolate, chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks when I’m feeling down.  But this type of comfort food is not comforting for my health, nor does it do as much as is needed to cure my blue mood.  Swearing off these foods all together is somewhat unreasonable, so just monitor your intake.  Recent studies show that processed foods can lead to depression.  Try incorporating alternatives that are not only healthy and non-processed, but mood boosters, such as: blueberries, walnuts, yogurt, oatmeal, turkey, and wild salmon.

4. Exercise. After my breakup, the first thing I did when I got out of bed was go for a run.  It was probably the best thing I did that day.  I was able to clear my head, process the situation soundly, and let out a lot of aggression by running.  Any kind of exercise, whether it be running, yoga, or dancing around the room to your favorite song (cue Meredith and Cristina in Grey’s Anatomy) is great for your body.  It relieves stress and is also great for your mood.  After exercising, the brain releases chemicals known as endorphins that can make a person feel happier and calmer.

5. Be productive. Being idle allows the mind to wander.  To ward off negative thoughts, keep yourself busy by doing something constructive.  Take on a personal project, organize your closet, or create a vision board or a collage.  Delve into your school work, apply for an internship, or focus on your job.  I started a job the week my boyfriend broke up with me.  I was able to meet new people and accomplish tasks that made me feel proud about myself.  Being productive is not the only way for you to ward of negative thoughts about your broken relationship.

6. Think positive. Combat those negative thoughts by thinking positive.  It’s natural to think the worst may come from your failed relationship, especially if you didn’t want the relationship to end.  You may not think you can find someone to take his or her place.  He or she may have been “the one.”  Whether or not you and your former significant other are meant to be, you must remember that another person does not determine your worth.  You can go on without your ex, and you can still be a successful and classy co-ed.

7. Stay away from alcohol (or anything that will cause you to lower your inhibitions) and boys. The two do not mix.  You are emotionally vulnerable right now, and together both can have disastrous results.  So, don’t attempt to drown your sorrows in alcoholic beverages, or replace your ex with someone else.  Dealing with a breakup is difficult enough.  Remember, you need time to heal.  Beware of the guys trying to pick up the pieces of your failed relationship.  They are not as concerned as you think about your feelings and how you’re holding up.

Wondering if your relationship is worth it?  Has he not called you back?  To help you figure things out, check out Shannon’s article “Top Five Dating Tips from ‘He’s Just Not that Into You.’”

Shannon Palmore is an intern with College Lifestyles, and a Senior majoring in English at Spelman College.  When her head is not stuck in a book, it is in the clouds, where she dreams about culinary arts school and her first book signing event.